Lamps and Wall Decorations

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The Far Out look is in! In my mind, it never left.

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Lamp 10 gets my vote as most useless. Set decorations for a science fiction movie. My God, it's full of stars.

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Sears mirror tiles are miracle workers. How ugly does a wall have to be in order for someone to be desperate enough to cover it in mirrors?

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I have seen painting 11 in real life. It is better than the mirrors, in the way that a fat woman in a spaghetti strap top looks better than a fat woman in a tube top. The shape of the woman is not relevant, both tops are rather unattractive. Okay, a tiny percentage of women can wear spaghetti strap tops without offending people but on the vast majority, myself included, they are not pretty.

How can you determine if you are in the minority of those who can wear spaghetti strap tops?

Clues:

  • If you need to wear a bra then you probably should not wear a spaghetti strap top.
  • If you are an underweight actress or model, then you can wear the top.
  • If you live in a trailer park, don't wear one.
  • If you are a skinny drag queen, you can wear one.
  • If you are wearing one and people snicker, laugh or puke then you should go home and put something else on.
  • If God meant for all of us to wear cute spaghetti strap tops then he would have made all of us look like Calista Flockhart. Diversity adds richness to life, cherish it. Sir Mix-a-Lot likes big butts whereas others appreciate smaller women.


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